It’s been difficult to put my thoughts into words lately. One of my closest friends in the world was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 metastasized cancer a few months ago. She seems to be responding well to chemo, which is good. I like having her around; she is one of those people that everyone is drawn to.

Then I heard that two of my childhood friends were diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and brain cancer. The one with pancreatic had a Whipple surgery, which is possibly one of the most complex, grueling surgeries out there; and she is struggling through a variety of complications.

And then, recently, I was diagnosed with cancer. Just DCIS, small potatoes compared to what my friends are going through. Which is pretty much what I told the doctor when he called to tell me. What I have is 98-99% easily treatable.

I’m still scared, though. I haven’t told many people; my kids obviously because they need to know for their own medical records. My husband… although to be perfectly honest, if he wasn’t standing right next to me when I got the phone call, I may not have done anything. Just be like “so what?” and let the chips fall. My bio relatives (birth family) were told because it was from them I got the list of all the relatives with cancer, what types, age at diagnosis, age at death. Being of Ashkenazi descent, one is prone to a wide variety of genetic ailments. But another thing about it, we live a long time. Yeah, we may have cancer and diabetes but we live to ripe old ages! I am doing an 84-point panel of genetic tests; the geneticist tells me that she is more concerned that I have Lynch syndrome as the breast cancer in the family (at least those recent enough to have the benefit of testing) are non-BRCA.

I formulated a plan immediately: lumpectomy followed by radiation. I am not keen to take Tamoxifen for the rest of my life though, also I suck at taking medications for more than 2 months. Then I met with the surgeon and I was presented with many, many options and treatment plans. And it will probably take a couple of months before they get around to the surgery. Like, really? I have a nurse navigator. I have meetings with geneticists, oncologists, radiologists, and who knows what else, in addition to my regular doctor (who has been following up with me regularly) and the clinic that will be treating my ongoing foot saga.

I am just throwing this out here because I wanted to say it in writing and no one reads this anyway.